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An Outlook on the History of Dinosaurs

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Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-02-2015 7:50 PM

After 3000+ posts, I bring you my special, 10 months in the making!

Please enjoy it's long and sweet, and I hope it makes up for my long absence of spoof posts:

***

Throughout the ages of great scientific discoveries, our depictions of dinosaurs has radically changed over time.

First, they were all considered "Terrible Lizards", and they were once depicted as dumb, giant creatures. They were also depicted as unloving and ruthless bastards, to be straight to the point.

Over the past years, however, our general scientific knowledge today has given us a completely different perspective of these creatures. First off, let me start out on the many different aspects of dinosaurs that has radically changed over the past years through three subjective questions:

#1 What exactly were dinosaurs!?

Old depictions generally told us that they were apparently nothing much more than huge, giant lizards. Then it evolved into them being giant reptiles.

Now that we have gained more knowledge, we know that some dinosaurs were actually giant bird-like creatures! Species like Deincyhous and Tyrannosaurus Rex are now depicted as giant, fearsome, majestic birds. People, however, often get confused about this though. For example, research was done on common household chickens to see if the chicken truly was a descendent of the birdlike dinosaurs, specifically raptors.

Even then, interesting enough, a species of one of the early dinosaurs was found, with fossilized feathers! The video about it can be viewed below:

Many people do imagine T-Rex’s as giant chickens, but who’s to say feathered dinosaurs couldn’t look cool!?

Even then, this discussion made by user Allotitan shows that chickens, when given “tails,” actually walk like the bird-like dinosaurs did!

In the video below, you can see more additional details about the relations between a dinosaur and chicken below, in a TedTalk by paleontologist Jack Horner.

There is also this interesting video:

Not to mention recent evidence suggest bird-like dinosaur eggs. What is interesting about this is that the colours are similar to how colors work of bird eggs. The source to the article can be found HERE

EVEN then it's been discovered that chicken embryos can manipulated into dinosaur-like snouts! FOr more info, click HERE

#2 Exactly how smart were dinosaurs!?

Well, that has also radically changed! You see, in the beginning, when God created the Earth and the heavens, first he created Adam, and then out of Adam he created Eve, and from Adam and Eve came Cain and Abel, and-

Wait a minute… wrong book!

 

*Looks for correct one meanwhile*

 

We apologize for any inconvenience. Please enjoy the following music below.

 

Aw, here we go!!!

You see, in the beginning when Atman-

God damnit, seriously thought this would be the right one this time!

Okay now here we go!!!

 

Before Zeus, there was Cronus, and before him was the first, Uranus-

 

Alright, the **** with this- I’m improvising.

 

You see, earlier many scientists always depicted dinosaurs as completely STUPID. I remember once watching a do***entary, and like all other do***entaries I had seen at that time, the guy said this:

“Dinosaurs had pea-brains, dinosaurs were stupid.”

Then it went on about how animals like T-Rex were just bumbling idiotic reptiles, and might have even fought each other for no reason, since they were literally too stupid.

Now, first of all, I am not saying all dinosaurs were intelligent, but some of them were damn sure intelligent. Evidence even suggest that the dinosaurs that were raptors (meaning “birds of prey”) were able to cooperate with each other and hunt down big animals as pack-hunters!

Some evidence suggests that even T-Rex might have hunted in packs, as well. (Of course, probably only 2-5 pack hunters maximum in a group.) This is due to the fact of evidence found when 68 Tyrannosaur fossils were found in one massive graveyard! One scientist claimed this was sufficient evidence, others, thought the idea was absurd. However, it does make sense, Tyrannosaurs, if pack hunters, would be able to take out larger and more enemies swiftly. What shows even more evidence is that just recently in July 2014, footprints markings were found from dinosaurs, and the way they were positioned suggest they were pack hunting, for more details, watch this video:

Link To Video

And/or read this article:

Link to Article

Even then, it is suggested that dinosaurs, although having small brains relative to size, were still quite the intelligent animal. You see, it mainly was possibly built upon instinct. As user x_paden_x once said, “One of our only instincts as a baby is to cry [out] for attention.” Dinosaurs weren’t like primates, they most likely required their skills by pure, natural, and 100% instinct. Sure, maybe their instincts were advanced upon by their parents, but in the end, why so much space for unnecessary knowledge? It would be like buying a hard drive that contains 500GB just to download 1 movie that has 2 GB, and nothing else. The dinosaur’s brain may have had small ‘bytes’, but some of it had already been taken up by birth to perform its functions when ‘plugged in’, as in when they hunted in the wild.

Not also that, but looking at how long these creatures thrived and not to mention how abundant they are in the fossil record, it wouldn’t make sense for them to have been dumb, because if they were dumb, natural selection surely would have not have them evolve bigger and more complex.

Now, onto the next iteration.

(Comment if you saw what I did there. If you got it, you will win Raptor-401’s undying love and approval, and we all know how valuable that is to you all. And if it isn’t, now it is.)

 

Sorry for that. Now it has occurred to me that for the past several, long paragraphs, nothing was funny… Well here’s this for you, as compensation:

 

Well, you read what the picture said. Don’t even try to deny it. Seriously. Don’t. I dare you to, if you will. I double dog dare you. Say it to me. Say it to me. Say it to me one more time, I dare you motherfu-

*Realizes reference to movie is too aggressive for the forum*

 

Now, onto the discussion!

 

Why the heck did I just get a sense of déjà vu again…??? Like if, it was a different discussion for a different special… Well, never mind.

#3 Exactly how “fit” were dinosaurs?

Early paleontologists depicted dinosaurs as slow, dull creatures. In full detail, they thought that the only logical way they were brought to extinction is because they were huge, idiotic, slow, fat, and blundering reptiles. And useless reptiles, that is…

Even brachiosaurs were thought to have only been able to live in swamps and oceans, because they were so big and dry they needed to be hydrated. They were also thought to be so heavy they couldn’t even support their own weight, therefore they stayed in the water, to lessen the “load.” After all, whadda you gonna do about all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk???... Basically, what were the early 1900s dinosaur depictions, In general? It was that Dinosaurs=Big and Stupid. It was as if the bigger a dinosaur, the dumber it was, but when it comes to intelligence, size does NOT matter!!!...

But seriously, look at the damned pictures, too! These animals are depicted as if they have no idea what the hell to do with their lives like complete tools:

(Seriously, look at all this ****. ****ing look. At. It.)

(^That should be a meme… just saying)

Then these dinosaurs kinda look like me in everyday common things…

This was me on the first day of school, having to wake up early for the first time and then being hauled class to class…

This is me when I realize a 5-paragraph essay analysis is due the next day and I completely forgot about it:

This one, I don’t know about you, but this is me when I pass by a some douchebag at the hallway:

Then this is just me when lunch is ready, and I’m STARVING:

Then this face is my expression when a lockdown/fire drill is called right before a test/quiz I forgot to study for:

 

Sorry… Sometime it seems I just go off topic and… Whatever.

 

Well, let us continue! Now onto the discus-

Again, that feeling of de---

Whatever.

CONCLUSION

Well, I realize now there is much more I could delve into, but I don’t want to write too much and I do believe I could save more stuff to get into in a later topic.

SO now we go into I guess what can be called a “conclusion.”

Of course, it wasn’t about till the mid-20th century that these ideas were changed. Studies were done on the skeletal structure of dinosaurs and different conclusions were formed. Scientists discovered that some dinosaurs were actually most likely agile creatures, and some of them could maybe have even ran at cheetah speed.

Throughout time new theories that are seen as legit and plausible would have been laughed at years ago. Such as the Spinosaurus reconstruction earlier, which was seen as plausible by many but in the last century may have been absolutely in-con-ceivable!!! (Comment if you got the reference.)

But, all jokes aside, who knows what direction that our view of dinosaurs will head into in the upcoming years. Maybe just 30 years from now paleontologist will be in hysterics seeing what we thought was the most accurate models for such mysterious bones. The true beauty of dinosaurs is also wondering what they were like, how cool it must have been to see detailed creatures, creatures that through a painful process of evolution and natural selection finally came unto the land, in full majestic glory. Imagining how a group/pack of velociraptors tread over the land. Did they bobble their heads idiotically like chickens do today? Or were they fierce like falcons, always on the look out to hunt, to kill their prey, with the eyes and concentration of pure intelligence and instinct.

Or a Spinosaurus. A fierce giant crocodile-like predator. What if it had a fierce look, always on the lookout to fish out a giant river creature, ready to attack and eat? What if it swam with a brave facial expression, looking unconcerned about its surroundings, but prepared to defend itself from a surprise attack?

Not to mention animals such as Stegosaurs and Triceratops. Did they walk around like cows, waiting to be slaughtered by a fierce Tyrannosaur? Or were they fierce and violent themselves, wary of their surroundings, prepared to charge and absolutely maul anything at the cost of protecting themselves, their family.

The point is that although it’s cool and good to know the best scientific outlook on such specimens, it is also cool, maybe even better to just marvel, wonder, and just imagine about them. And try not to let some jerks take that away from you, if someone wants to view their depiction as superior, let them. It’s their fault they don’t truly appreciate all of the dinosaurs for what they were. Because if they lasted so long only for the biggest and coolest to die out by the unfortunate chain of events that hit after an asteroid crashed onto Earth 65 million years ago, then that could mean one thing.

Dinosaurs were pretty freaking awesome, and we probably would not want to mess with them if we ever got the chance to confront one.

Of course that’s just my opinion.

That makes 3000+ posts for me, hopefully most of them being have been quality ones. I’m sure I’ll still be here longer, ready to entertain you all.

With all condolences, I hope you enjoyed my attempt on providing a somewhat funny but serious outlook on the History of Dinosaurs. A special thanks for Paden reviewing most of this topic, though much of what you see has been improvised from me.

-Fernando

 

And with that, I am forever leaving the forum. I am forever gone! I have found life somewhere else and I must forever leave this website in the pursuit of happiness! (Maybe even possibly the Fountain of Youth… or in search of a New World… Maybe some gold… Glory… Spread Catholicism onto the land of the filthy heretics!!! Plunge their cities, burn their temples, and pass down upon them Los Palabras de Dios, the Holy Word of Go-)

 

Raptor-401 realizes he may have found the inner psychotic side of his Spanish ancestry…

 

 

Just kidding! Seriously, though- word of advice: Don’t ever say you are “forever” leaving a website that will only take Internet connection, a computer, and about 20 seconds of your time to come back to. Seriously. Even when I was thousands of miles away from my home I still was able to check the forum daily.

Thanks to everyone who has over time encouraged me to keep on logging on and making more posts. Though the last months have been stale in my posting, I hope this revives my will to make everyone laugh and think. Thanks to people such as Lord Vader/Mr. Happy, Gojira2K, x_paden_x (who made this special possible), JRR/Catzilla, Something Real, Allotitan, RexFan 684, Carnosaur, DinoSteve, UCMP, Primal King, and many others who were almost always there commenting and praising my work, which encouraged me to post more, allowing me to reach the grand 3000!

And a special thanks to you, Lord Vader, or Mr. Happy, as I better know you. Looking back at my older discussions I remembered how you were almost always the first to reply to my discussions. In a sense, I knew you would be the first to comment whenever I posted a discussion, and I always looked forward to seeing how you would respond, mainly my spoofs, stories, and What Do You Do?’s.

And you, JRR. You always seemed to enjoy my spoofs and stories a lot, mainly my spoofs. It always made me happy inside to see you always seemed to enjoy my spoofs.

And Paden, too. You always said many things that were smart, funny, and well-informed. It was always interesting and thought-provoking (sometimes downright hilarious!) to read what you posted. You actually encouraged me to think outside the box and do things the forum has never seen. I remember how a lot of times you praised me in your FBR posts which many times did inspire to keep on posting.

And Gojira2K. For almost all of my discussions you always loved them and praised my ideas and creativity. You gave me the assurance that someone would always be there to praise my work.

And Something Real, your kind remarks assured me as well that you would always enjoy my work!

And Allotitan, although I see he has not logged on for a while, he actually encouraged me to be proud of my work in my spoof posts, especially when he once referred to me as “Master of Spoof Posts.” He requested me to do a spoof post once, and I believe I shall do it soon.

And RexFan, too, as well. It’s obvious to see you inspired everyone to do many things. I remember the time I thought we could have a fun time making a twist on Rex vs Spino by making it to a rap battle.

And Primal King, too. When I collaborated with you to make first spoof post, it was what started all of them. If it wasn't for you showing me how fun it was to make a topic, maybe I wouldn't be making these type of posts!.

Thanks to everyone else, as well! The comment you have made have inspired me to keep on making more discussions!

Oh, and thanks to Chris for having made this forum, and also promoting me to moderator which also encourages me to make more posts!

***

Please, please please PLEASE leave a comment! I thank you all for reading and for those who have continuously supported me!

I hope I can keep on entertaining you in the years to come!

-Raptor-401

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

19 Responses to An Outlook on the History of Dinosaurs

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-02-2015 7:51 PM

Author’s Note:

This article was created for a serious but at the same time comical outlook on the evolution of dinosaur reconstructions. The swear words used in this article we meant for pure entertainment and comical amusement. The joke making fun of the Genesis account in the Bible was purely a joke and is not intended to make fun of Christians. I myself am non-religious, as a side note. All pictures are the rights to their respective owners. The joke having to do with the “inner psychotic side of my Spanish ancestry” is due to the fact that I am of mostly Spanish descent, and is not meant to offend anyone who is of Spanish descent, as well. Those who did not get the joke should pay attention to History class more.

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

Alphadino65

InitiateMember190 XPJun-02-2015 8:24 PM

You hit the nail on the head with this essay.  Imagination and vision are as important as scientific accuracy.  I think that's why Jurassic Park was so successful, even as a book.  And it turned out that a lot of stuff that JP showed that were originally deemed "scientifically inaccurate" are now right.

And yes, I got the "inconceivable" reference.  Anyone who watches great movies knows that reference :P

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-02-2015 8:28 PM

Thank you so much alpha! The fact that you said I hit the nail with this makes me so happy to know it was a well-informed essay.

It is funny how right Michael Crichton was on some dinosaurs being bird-like.

 

And it makes me ecstatic you got the reference! Yes, that is simply one of the most classic movies!

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

Gojira2K

NoobMember0 XPJun-02-2015 8:40 PM

That was great!!! Really, really great. I loved the part where you keep, reading the beginnings of other books. That was hysterical!!!!

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway.

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-02-2015 8:42 PM

Thank you so much! Oh yes, I was enjoying myself so much when I was writing that!

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

Siks

NoobMember0 XPJun-02-2015 9:28 PM

That. Was. Awesome. Seriously.

You are like a new god of the internet. I must obtain a sacrifice for you.

*Sneaks into Rexy's paddock to steal her goat.

*Rexy catches me

*Stares up at Rexy with bold determination in his eyes whilst holding a goat whilst saying, "This goat isn't for you. This goat is for my god and master Raptor-401. TEAM INDOMINUS REX FOR -"

*Whilst examining the wreckage the members of the forum find Siks' remains.

* "I think I found Siks."

* "Uhh. I think I found him too."

No but seriously that was awesome. Keep up the good work man.

And I think I should end this comment by saying that you guys are all awesome and that I love and respect all of you as my fellow forum members.

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-02-2015 9:38 PM

Thank you so much SIks. Your place in raptor heaven is now assured. FOllow my laws:

Thou shall not have any other false god besides thy holy 401

Thou shall not use 401's name in vain

Thou shall worship thy 401 weekly

Thou shall not praise others works more than mine

Just kidding! Thanks so much for your comment, that actually made my day!

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

Dinozilla0439

NoobMember2 XPJun-02-2015 10:28 PM

Well, I said I would come check out your post, so I'll leave a comment.

Most of this was pretty funny, I thought the dino pics you posted while likening them to yourself was hilarious! XD

But I'm sorry, I'm not really getting into the religious jokes, I'm not offended or anything, I just don't find them all that funny. I know it wasn't intended to make fun of Christians, but still.

Again, though, other than that I found a lot of the post to be really funny and I laughed at parts of it!

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-02-2015 10:32 PM

Thanks dinozilla! And understood.

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

Dinozilla0439

NoobMember2 XPJun-02-2015 10:43 PM

Thanks for understanding, man.

Oh and you're right, I went back and looked at some old dino art and... man, they look terrible.

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-02-2015 10:47 PM

No problem.

 

Yeah, hence the way I phrased it when I said to look at it XD

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

Something Real

LegendMember5639 XPJun-03-2015 12:32 AM

RAPTOR-401 - We each carry within us a drive to create and provide the world with our very best. We strive to realize our potential in all that we bring forth from our imaginations. Some of us are fortunate in that we can visualize what we see with our mind's eyes, and you are certainly one so gifted. I am extremely proud of the incredible time and effort you obviously placed into the amazing presentation you have been so kind to share with us. I was moved by the tone and care you instilled within your work; it is obvious the subject means a great deal to you. The fact that you chose to mention me is humbling and I am honored by your choice to consider me a friend. All in all, I will simply say this: Bravo, my freind! You truly have the heart of a gifted entertainer! :)

Lord Vader

LegendMember6270 XPJun-03-2015 3:29 AM

Nice work. The thank you notes were nice. I did good a good laugh out of parts of this. Holy crap was it long. I enjoyed this. 

Jack of all trades. Master of none

GG

2KStaff3811 XPJun-03-2015 6:42 AM

...

Good grief.

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-03-2015 8:00 AM

@Something Real- Thanks you so much! I am glad that I can entertain you guys with these type of posts. I am very glad that you enjoyed it!

@Lord Vader- Thanks. It's good to know you laughed at this. Yes, it was very long, and I do hope it was worth the time to read it.

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

GG

2KStaff3811 XPJun-03-2015 8:11 AM

This actually was quite the outstanding piece of work!

It arose the oil that is the Dinosaur's, back into Dinosaurs! It cresented and confined the birds back into Raptor's! It made the eagle the Dactyl, it made the swan the serpent, the crocodile the Sarcosuchus!!!

Good grief.

Sci-Fi King25

2KMember4297 XPJun-03-2015 1:18 PM

I actually thought you were serious with the leaving note.

 

It's been a while since I've seen a funny yet serious topic. I believe I caught a Jurassic Park novel reference with the "next iteration".

 

The pictures with descriptions were pretty fun to read. Thanks for a full history on dinosaurs as seen by paleontology!

 

“Banana oil.”- George Takei, Gigantis: The Fire Monster

Lone

2KMember2674 XPJun-03-2015 2:52 PM

Well done 401!

The way you have written this interesting topic, with a mix of knowledge, enthusiasm and humour was very entertaining. XD

If only more scientific subjects were presented in this way, science would be much more fun!

THE LONE GUNWOMAN

"Let The Cosmic Incubation Begin" ~ H.R. Giger

Raptor-401

2KMember3687 XPJun-03-2015 3:26 PM

@Sci-Fi King25- You did get the reference! Finally, someone fell for it!

And your're very welcome!

 

@Lone- Thanks, that was the whole idea! I've always loved it when history and science are presented in ways like this, not only do you learn but it's fun and it sticks in your head!

IT'S TIME TO DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL!!!

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